I am not a quitter

So, in all the pondering and mulling and considering I’ve been doing about giving up blogging altogether, I tried to remember why I started in the first place. I went through my archives, and I found that the posts I was most proud of, the ones that brought me some tears or a giggle or an “oh yeah, I remember that!” were posts about R.

And then it hit me – she was the reason I started to write here in the first place. I am a terrible chronicler of life. I have a scrapbook with five pages complete. Anyone who looks at it would know that in 2001, I got engaged in New Orleans, tried on wedding dresses and had a really cute puppy. And that’s it. R’s baby book is not much better – all the places where you’re supposed to “place photo of baby crawling here” or “place photo of baby’s first meal here” are blank, and a lot of the written entries are empty as well.

But this blog, oh, the difference! Here, I can read about when she started walking for real, when I first started to realize that I needed to start letting her go already, little milestones like throwing a ball, the time she ate dog food,  our first family vacation, her evolution into Miss Bossy, switching her from home day care to a preschool center, her trouble with transitions, our girls weekend, and talking about God.  

So I am resolving to keep this up, to try to write more about R. Maybe when she is older, she will understand how much I loved her and struggled with doing the right thing in raising her. And maybe she will also be able to realize, sooner than I did about my own mother, that I am not perfect and I make mistakes and that’s all okay.

How can I watch this little girl grow up before my very eyes and not record it somehow?

This entry was posted in I'm a freak, I'm a mommy. Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to I am not a quitter

  1. suze says:

    Why is it we professionally trained storytellers have such difficulty keeping up with the stories of our lives in ‘traditional’ ways? I can’t keep a regular personal journal to save my life, but I can blog on a relatively consistent basis (although that goes in cycles too…) Perhaps we’re not happy unless we’re doing the writing publically? 😉

    R is gorgeous!

  2. vixensden says:

    Num, num, num. I want to eat her up, she is so adorable.

    Glad to see you have rediscovered your muse, because A)We love hearing about R and you guys and B)I am sure R will really appreciate (and so will you) these reminders in the future when she has grown.

  3. Mar says:

    She is growing up to be a very lovely young lady! Thank you for continuing to share her with us.

  4. Victoria says:

    I’m glad you decided to stick it out! R is precious and it’s been a lot of fun watching her develop. Thanks for deciding to stay with us!

  5. Erin says:

    I’m terrible at scrapbooking. I have one scrapbook. It has puppy pictures of Rufus in it. Lame.

    I’m so glad you are going to keep blogging! I love it when your posts pop up in my reader!

  6. Mandy says:

    So like me…
    Though, I’m even bad about the keeping up with milestones on the blog, too. Sheesh. I know what you mean, though. You are not alone. 🙂
    And that picture is just precious.

  7. skiplovey says:

    Yay for keeping up the blog. Sometimes I feel the same way, like “should I go on?” but then it does feel good not to be a quitter.
    Keep it up!

  8. Frema says:

    I’m glad you’re not quitting blogging. I’m horrible about my reading lately, but I like checking your site for updates.

    Also, why have we not gotten our kids together yet? I don’t know how much fun R would have with Kara, seeing as her biggest accomplishments are saying DADADADA and walking maybe five steps a couple of times, but I would like to see you! If you’re looking for adult time only, do you enjoy painting? 🙂

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