My absence, by the numbers

Number of Comcast complaints filed with various agencies: 3

Stitches removed from R’s head: 5

Tears and/or noises made during stitch removal: 0

Popsicles sweetly requested of nurse following stitch removal: 1

Unsolicited Strawberry Shortcake stickers offered by nurse: 3

Visits to pioneer village: 1

Days she allowed Band-Aids to be applied: 3

Days Band-Aids were supposed to be applied: 7

Cases of Hand, Foot and Mouth contracted by R: 1

Days missed from work by me due to HF&M: 3

Temper tantrums thrown due to inability to eat, walk, pick things up: INFINITE.

Number of times during this period that I may or may not have referred to my child by using a naughty word: 2

Hours of sleep lost: countless

Theme parks visited: 1

State fairs visited: 1

Pigs petted: 5

Sheep petted: 3

Cows petted: 0

Rabbits petted: 1

Horses petted: 10

Hours husband spent teaching kids to fish at state fair (what a sweetie!): 4

Fears I (temporarily) overcame to accompany R on various fair rides: 3 (spinning, heights, moving fast with no safety accoutrements)

Hours spent watching women’s gymnastics at R’s request: approximately 5

Times R articulates that she prefers the Chinese women to the American women: at least 2 a day

Pictures taken for church directory: 10

Acceptable pictures taken for church directory: -1

Ice cream treats purchased for R for good behavior during church pictures: 1

Ice cream treats eaten by R for good behavior during church pictures: .25

Times I considered abandoning blogging altogether: 3

Decisions reached on the issue: 0

Third birthday parties attended: 1

Fellow birthday party attendees bossed by R for the entire two hours: 1

Adorableness of R in her party hat: unquantifiable

Brand new professional football stadiums toured: 1

Somersaults performed by R on new turf of new stadium: 3

Freakouts by R when she realized she was covered in rubber pellets from the new turf: 1

Times R peed in her diaper at day care yesterday: 0

Times R peed in the potty at day care yesterday: 5

Times R peed in the potty at home yesterday: 1

Times R pooped in the potty at home yesterday: 0

Times R pooped in her diaper at home yesterday: 1

Times R peed in her diaper at home yesterday: undetermined, but more than a few

Times I actually ran… outside… for exercise: 3

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This entry was posted in I'm a freak, I'm a mommy, I'm a wife. Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to My absence, by the numbers

  1. holy make me tired….

  2. Mandy says:

    Love this post!
    Looks like you had an eventful absence. 😉
    And I hear you on the blogging thing. Totally.

  3. Vixen says:

    You crack me up. R seems quite a handfull…I wonder who she inherited that from?

    Don’t you dare quit blogging, I will cry.

  4. Mar says:

    So many numbers, I would have ran out of fingers to count on a long time ago.

    HF & M is poopy. Very, very poopy. Sorry to hear that R had it.

  5. Yeah. I can’t count this high.

    Glad to have you back…?

  6. Erin says:

    Whoa. And I thought thing were crazy around here.

    I am strongly opposed to you quitting blogging. How will I keep up with your life if you quit? 🙂

  7. Jenna says:

    Okay, I stopped cold at hand foot mouth. Nothing is worse than that. Sorry to hear you went through it, and I hope it doesn’t happen again.

  8. Victoria says:

    I’m so sorry things have been so rough lately! I hope things settle down soon. And I’m proud of R! She was a bigger girl about it than I would have been.

  9. skiplovey says:

    Wow sounds like you’ve been busy. Ok you’re off the hook, especially since you took such good notes.

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