Sex and the old married ladies

So, I finally saw the Sex and the City movie last weekend. I know, perhaps the last woman on the planet to have seen it (of those that want to see it). I found myself tearing up several times during the film, which really says very little about its quality because for God’s sake, I cried during “Runaway Bride” which I believe might be the worst movie ever made. At the very least, it’s the worst movie Julia Roberts ever made.

While I don’t have much to say about the actual film – other than I liked it pretty well but thought that it wasn’t as good as the series – I was really interested in the audience. When I walked in (alone), I saw another woman my age, perhaps younger, toward the front. Another solitary woman sat all the way in the back, she was a little older than me. Two girlfriends sat in the middle of the theater. A few minutes after I walked in, two additional older women came in, each by themselves. One of them sat behind me.

Now, I haven’t seen a movie alone in nearly ten years, though I used to do it a lot in the late 90s. And Sex and the City seems like a friend kind of movie, the kind of movie women go to see in packs. So why were so many of us alone?

I know I was drawn to the friendships in the series – the kind of friendships that are like a marriage without all the paperwork. I haven’t had a friendship like that in a long, long time, unless you count the one I have with my sister. Seeing it on screen, even though I know it wasn’t real, made me a little sad. Some people do have friends like that.

I have struggled with making friends since moving here. My problem is I don’t have the time to devote to a friendship like I used to. I can’t go out for drinks after work or out dancing on the weekends. I can’t spend an hour on the phone at night or Saturday afternoons at the mall. And what’s left? What do I have to give?

I sipped my Diet Coke in the darkened theater and listened to the other women laughing in the theater around me, and I wondered what their stories were.

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9 Responses to Sex and the old married ladies

  1. Frema says:

    This entry reminds me we need to hang out again. 🙂

    I haven’t seen the movie yet, but I want to. (Hopefully this weekend!)And I, too, will probably see it alone because we don’t have any friends here, either, and besides, somebody has to stay with Kara, as I’m sure movie patrons won’t appreciate me bringing my six-month-old child to the show.

    I have a couple of really great friends, but they don’t live here, and like you, I need someone local.

    (Why haven’t we gotten together again?!)

  2. Ditto to both of you! I’m only 15 minutes up the road from you guys. And I’m in the same boat–it’s so hard making new friends when you’re new to the area and have wee ones.
    Let’s all go to a flick together in the next month…whaddya say?

    /stalker off.

  3. Christina says:

    This makes me so sad for you, and me. Before Nate I saw movies alone a lot and really liked it that way. Since I have been away from home for so long it has become normal. I am doing better now with making friends but it takes SO much effort. Even with staying home its hard to find the time unless its at noon on a tuesday and who can do that? I think you need to ask your work buddy out again. We need that girl time so badly! There is something very refreshing about it.
    At least we have our sisters.

  4. Mar says:

    If it makes you feel any better I have not seen it either. Actually, I can not tell you the last grown up movie I have been too.

    If we lived closer, I would totally hang out with you :).

  5. Erin says:

    Ted actually came with me to see it. He’s cool like that. We were the only “group” in the theater. Every other person was alone. I should say every other women, because there were no men alone there.

    It’s so hard to make friends as an adult. I have the girls I work with, but those friendships developed more out of being thrown together than anything we have in common. I trust my blog friends more than my work friends. Wow. I’m sad.

  6. ((hug))

    I think these shows are delightful fantasies. I know a lot of people and I know very few people who have those kinds of friends.

    Here’s my random opinion. I think that people lived in apartments or rooming houses until about the 1950s when they moved to the suburbs. Living in apartments, they learned social skills AND more importantly, learn to accept people’s quirks. When everyone is in a house, we don’t learn that. We are the first generation to have parents who didn’t grow up in the pueblo.

    Our parents didn’t learn those skills so we didn’t learn those skills. Instead we have TV fantasies (Friends, sex in the city, etc) of what it is to have friends.

    There you are – hows that for random opinion.

  7. Mandy says:

    I agree with Erin about the trusting blog friends more than most people I know IRL. My best friend(s) are far away from me. And they are part of my blog community! 😀
    I, like you, though, enjoy a little alone time every now and again. It’s refreshing.
    Seriously. I’m here. Email me if you ever want to get together. I’m with the others who suggested another get-together.

  8. skiplovey says:

    I agree that It’s hard to make new friends as you get older. I,myself, just don’t have the time I used to have to go out with your new friends and do all the fun things that make great memories. these days I’ll meet a couple of my mom friends at the park, we’ll chat for a few minutes while the kids wreck havoc and then you’re off for naps or some other kid related thing. I really don’t know most of my new friends all that well. It makes me a little sad but life is so chaotic lately.

    I met most of my new mom friends through a mom’s group and that was a great way to meet people that have similar interests and are in similar life situations. And while we’re not all best friends, it’s great to have a friendly ear and it’s fun to get together.

  9. suze says:

    Oh wow – I just did the same thing last night – went alone to the same movie, made some of the same observations while sipping a giant diet coke…

    I miss having a big circle of friends – I have great friends, and lots of them, but no one knows the other, at least not well. At best they might be friends with one other friend. And having a bunch of friends that you can go out in a group with is so much fun. But not something I’m likely to find as I get older I guess…

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