Midnight confessions

I know we mothers always complain about how we haven’t had a good night’s sleep since our children were born (and, if we’re being technical, probably well before that). Even when we go away for business or pleasure, we can’t turn that “mommy” thing off – at least I can’t. I wake up in the dead of night, straining to hear the cries of my child, who might need me, somewhere… somewhere!

While I can (and do) complain about the dark circles and endless fatigue with the best of them, I think it’s time – at the risk of losing my martyr card – that I ‘fess up to something.

Sometimes, sometimes I don’t mind it.

Last night, my first night to go to sleep unaided by OTC drugs of some kind since last Thursday, I heard her cries at about 4 a.m. From the guest room next door (still have a seal cough), I crept into her room. Her outstretched arms and soft sniffles were just the kind of comfort I needed in the middle of a sleepless night.

She nuzzled her little face into my neck, eyes still heavy with sleep, and I breathed in her little toddler smell – part lavender, part clean, part her. I wrapped her in her favorite blanket, and suggested we go to the guest room.

First, of course, we both took a trip to the bathroom, where she successfully used the potty and was rewarded with a horsey sticker and a fox sticker, one for each hand.

Then we retreated to what seemed like our own secret, private place, tucked under the covers of the guest room bed. She repeatedly told me how much she loved me, gave me hugs and kisses and said “thank you” after every kiss I gave her. She snuggled her body against mine, and every few minutes would look up at me and smile, touching my face or my hand.

It was amazing. It was perfect. And the fact that it was four in the morning? Actually made it even better.

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11 Responses to Midnight confessions

  1. Christina says:

    I had that same experience recently and think part of the sweetness of it is that it reminds me of those early days when my son was baby and I would nurse in the middle of the night. Despite being tired and out of sorts, I used to love that special bonding time late in the night that I had with him!

  2. Christina says:

    That made me cry. I hate not sleeping too but when that little face lights up and he reaches for me, I dont care what time it is.

  3. Sarah says:

    Thank you for that.

    And amen, sister.

  4. Victoria says:

    You’ve got one of the sweetest little girls in the world. Hope you’re feeling better.

  5. Vixen says:

    I remember those times, exactly like it was yesterday. And it wasn’t. It was long, long ago. But it is still so fresh in my mind. Dear Lord, you made me cry.

  6. Jennifer says:

    Beautiful, beautiful post.

  7. This is gorgeous! Thanks for activitating my own memories of nights just like this one.

  8. skiplovey says:

    That was so sweet it almost, almost made me want to wake up my little guy from his nap. thankfully i snapped out of it because, hello- naptime is the only time i can get anything done.

  9. Frema says:

    It’s SO funny that you’re blogging about this today, because last night Kara woke up at 2:30 and Luke tried for twenty minutes to put her to sleep, with no success. So I got up and rocked her to sleep, and after an hour and a half of dozing on and off, I tried putting her in her crib, and she would just cry and cry. So I picked her up, snuggled her on my chest, and took her to bed with me. And I loved it. I’ve been waiting to become a mom for years, and THESE are the moments I couldn’t wait to have.

    If she wants to sleep through tonight, though, that’s OK by me. I’m exhausted. 🙂

  10. Pitter, at 22 months, has just really and truly begun sleeping all through the night without a single wake-up. And I feel like I’m missing an appendage when I wake up myself once or twice (because he’s trained ME well at this point) and discover he hasn’t tried to get into bed with us.

  11. That’s beautiful. What a moment. You should print this and put it in her baby book so she can always see how much you love her.

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