The new school was happy to report that Miss R was wonderful all day, ate her lunch, took a nap, asked after Daddy a few times but then would return to playtime when she was told Mommy or Daddy would return to get her.
She sang songs, played with play-doh and, when I arrived, she was riding a little “bike” around the indoor play area. She showed me her cubby with her coat and other particulars. She waved good bye to her new teachers and new friends, saying, “Bye-bye, see ya ‘morrow.”
We walked out to the car together and she turned into a raving, lunatic beast who wouldn’t consent to anything – sitting in the car seat, eating a snack, not eating a snack, eating dinner, not having dinner ready immediately, taking a bath, watching television, not watching television, putting on her pajamas, brushing her teeth, taking her medicine, reading a book, not reading a book, giving Mommy a kiss good night…
And I was actually okay with that. We rocked her little world yesterday. We deserve to be the ones to deal with it as she struggles to adjust. The only thing that broke my heart just a wee little bit was when she looked up at me from her high chair after dinner and said she was scared. Now I don’t know what she was scared of, or if she even fully understands the concept of fear, but I squatted down to her level and told her Mommy would always come get her, Mommy would always be there for her, Mommy would always protect her. And she hugged me so tight.
Maybe that wasn’t the right thing to do. I know I shouldn’t promise to always be there, when I don’t know what every day will bring. But I do know that I made her feel better. And that was what she needed.
And it was what I needed too.