I hate change

I just got off the phone with my husband. I’m sweating, near tears, with this big lump in my throat that won’t go away no many how many swigs I take of Diet Coke.

A spot is opening up at the day care center/preschool just across the road from our subdivision. The place is wonderful. It is run in conjunction with an assisted living center. It accepts kids with special needs. It is not crazy expensive. It just won an award from the state for the steps it’s taking to be environmentally friendly. It is clean and bright and beautiful.

Why am I terrified?

Every day when I pick R up from her current home-run day care, she is excited to see me, gives me hugs and kisses and lots of love. But she still wants to stay there. She gives hugs and kisses to her “Other Mommy” too. And yesterday, for the very first time, R hugged her tight and said, “Bye-bye Lisa.”

And Lisa burst into tears.

How am I going to tell her? What do I say? She knows R won’t be there forever. She said earlier this week she was trying to prepare herself for the day R leaves her, because she knows it’s coming. But now that it’s actually here…

And what do I do about R? How do we tell her? How do we prepare her for this huge change? Dave said the new place will let us give two weeks’ notice to Lisa. (Aside: Is that the correct punctuation for two weeks’ notice?) Is that enough time to prepare R?

I know this is the right place for R. I know it. And I’m sure she could see Lisa (and we could finally have a weekend babysitter) occasionally, to ease the transition for everybody.

But this is going to shake her little world to its core. And that is the last thing I want.

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9 Responses to I hate change

  1. Oh I know even the best/right changes suck. I’m sorry!

    As for your weeks’ question, plural possesive words don’t need an additional s after the apostrophe, but I don’t particularly know if that’s a possesive form of weeks’. The English language is tough, ain’t it 😉

  2. Christina says:

    We had to change day care for our son last year. We totally disliked it for many many reasons that I will not go into but he actually LOVED aspects of it. He loved his teachers and most of the kids and the activities but it was not a good situation for him at the end of the day. I have cried the most this time (3rd situation for DC for him and it has been hard changing each time but this last time was the worst because he was SO aware of it all.) While it does take time to get adjusted and there are “moments” of total disaster (as in temper tantrums & confusion over where he was going) he did get over it fairly quickly. I would say by about 6 weeks he stopped asking about his “old” school and friends and was happily going to the new situation.

    It is SO hard I do understand but this too shall pass!

  3. Sarah says:

    Okay, so first of all, and this may be overshare, my first instict was to write “I love you and you will make it through this because you’re awesome and strong and you’ll be fine”, but then I was all .. is that weird that I feel like I know her that well to give her that kind of online hug and will she think I’m a freak? Regardless, here’s the deal: kids are so much more resilient than we are. Mine is a baby, yes, but my stepson is seven and he always surprises me with his ability to get over things.. often WAY before I do. Just keep on a brave face.. you are strong. 🙂

  4. Christina says:

    I have no advise at all, sorry. It will work out though, you know R needs more of a challange than she is getting at her current place. Once she adjusts Im sure she will be just as happy, if not more!
    Good luck.

  5. Mar says:

    I would bet she will adjust much better than you think. The thought of new friends and new toys to play with may be just the trick.

    Just know you are doing what is best for R. The babysitter will understand.

    Can you take R. for a few visits prior to her going all day so she can see the new place?

    If you make it sound exciting to go, she will be excited herself.

    Once again, this mommy stuff is hard work.

  6. Victoria says:

    I have no experience in this, but I hope you guys are able to make the best transition possible. And yes, that punctuation is correct. At least, as far as what I was taught goes.

  7. skiplovey says:

    Change rankles me a bit too. You know what though, everytime I’ve been worried about something for my kid, that it won’t work out or he won’t like it ect, it ends up working out perfectly smooth. Sometimes kids can surprise you and be more adaptable than you’d think. You know your kid best but if presented in the right way, she might be excited about something new. Good luck!

  8. Erin says:

    Kids are amazingly resilient. I have told at least 200 moms (who did not believe me at the time) that they will be amazed at how quickly their children will adjust to coming to school. I think the same will be true with R. She’s a smart, independent little girl. It will be hard…change always is….but I think you’ll be amazed at how quickly she adjusts to her new daycare!

  9. vixensden says:

    I remember when we had to change Bear’s day care. She and the sitter (in home care) cried and cried. But as I recall (it was 14 years ago), Bear recovered right away and loved her new place. I think kids recover so quickly from change (much better than adults). Hugs to you and R.

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