I belong to this professional organization which I will not name for fear of outing my industry. I’m not sure what I truly think about professional organizations – a lot of them, this one included, seem to be more about who you know and how important you are than anything else. Nevertheless, I belong because it’s strongly encouraged at my workplace.
This year, the organization has started a new “FIT” program, in which participants must set a goal for themselves (not necessarily health and fitness) over the next year and report out the progress made toward that goal each month to a “team leader.” I have the
misfortune good fortune of having a team leader three offices away from me and was heavily recruited for the project.
We were asked this month to “tell our story” to the other members. This is what I submitted:
I have a very modest goal over the next year – I want to try to take more time for myself. In the two years since my daughter was born, I feel like I have lost my individual identity, becoming more “R’s Mom” and less “Michelle” every day. I hope to reclaim a little bit of Michelle while still being the best “R’s Mom” possible.
The biggest obstacle I am facing is overcoming the guilt I feel every time I do something (or even think of doing something) for myself instead of for my family. The last haircut and color I had was in July because I can’t stand to spend three hours away from home on the weekend for something that seems so indulgent. So please don’t comment on my roots next time you see me.
I don’t think I’m that much different from any other working mom. I think in my heart of hearts I believe I can have it all – the family and the career and the independence from both I need to have a complete life. But every time I have to show up at day care with cash to pay the $2-per-minute fee for being late or rush out of work early to pick up a sick kid, having it all seems less and less attainable. I think this project will help me to strive for more balance.