So I’m trying to make a friend (despite this post). Now, I haven’t been on the dating scene in nearly a decade, but can I just say that when I asked this woman to have cocktails after work sometime, it felt EXACTLY like I was asking her on a date.
I was all nervous, and I had to work up to going to her office, and I wouldn’t sit down, just stood awkwardly by the door and made up some work thing to talk about with her that was so obviously a cover-up for what I really wanted to ask. I also looked down at my shoes a lot and shifted my weight from one foot to the other.
Of course, we’ve been working up to this for nearly a year, hanging out at our association’s annual conference, trading personal stories that go beyond normal co-worker stuff, volunteering to work together on projects. So I was fairly confident she’d agree to hang out with me sometime, but still. I have this innate shyness and social awkwardness about me. Basically, I’m a big dork.
Making friends as an adult is so hard – you don’t have the ready-made pools like you do in high school and even college. And once you have kids, it gets even worse because your time is so limited. My husband has been urging me for years to “find a friend” and “put yourself out there.” Easier said than done.
So when I finally worked up the courage to stammer out an invitation, she said she’d love to have cocktails with me. And I was so happy, I said, “Awesome.” And didn’t nail down any details. I am an idiot.
But still – She likes me! She really likes me!