back in the saddle again

So I’m trying to make a friend (despite this post). Now, I haven’t been on the dating scene in nearly a decade, but can I just say that when I asked this woman to have cocktails after work sometime, it felt EXACTLY like I was asking her on a date. 

I was all nervous, and I had to work up to going to her office, and I wouldn’t sit down, just stood awkwardly by the door and made up some work thing to talk about with her that was so obviously a cover-up for what I really wanted to ask. I also looked down at my shoes a lot and shifted my weight from one foot to the other. 

Of course, we’ve been working up to this for nearly a year, hanging out at our association’s annual conference, trading personal stories that go beyond normal co-worker stuff, volunteering to work together on projects. So I was fairly confident she’d agree to hang out with me sometime, but still. I have this innate shyness and social awkwardness about me. Basically, I’m a big dork. 

Making friends as an adult is so hard – you don’t have the ready-made pools like you do in high school and even college. And once you have kids, it gets even worse because your time is so limited. My husband has been urging me for years to “find a friend” and “put yourself out there.” Easier said than done. 

So when I finally worked up the courage to stammer out an invitation, she said she’d love to have cocktails with me. And I was so happy, I said, “Awesome.” And didn’t nail down any details. I am an idiot. 

But still – She likes me! She really likes me!

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10 Responses to back in the saddle again

  1. Vixen says:

    But at least you got over the first hump! Keep going. I know you can do it.

  2. Well hurray! Good for you. I really struggle with this. If I’m with my friends, I can meet anyone but alone? I’m terrified. Go figure. I hope you have a great time!

  3. Sarah says:

    The easiest way to meet other women is to be the center of a scandal. 🙂 It’s how I met all of my best friends a few years back. At the time, they wanted to befriend me to get first-hand knowledge of the event.. but they stuck around. 🙂
    (I don’t recommend this method, btw.)

  4. mommymartin says:

    Your husband sounds like mine, only you’re doing so much better than I am at following his advice!
    Let us know how your “date” goes! I’m terribly excited for you.

  5. Erin says:

    Yay for your bravery! I’d be terrified to ask a girl for cocktails….hence the reason that I have no friends!

  6. rimarama says:

    I totally know what you mean! And have you ever had to “break up with” a woman friend once you realize it’s just not working out? It su-uh-ucks!

    But I know what you mean about making friends as an adult. It’s really hard, for some reason.

    Good luck with your “date”!

  7. noodle says:

    Oh, it’s the awkward “friend dating” dance. I’ll tell you an idea that helped me bond with a bunch of girls at work in my first real job — we started a lunch club. Once a week, someone in our group would bring in lunch for everyone from home and we would all sit and eat together. We took turns bringing in lunch, and it was a lot of fun!

  8. Jessica says:

    Isn’t it awful? I wrote about this a while back, only I was trying to befriend a mom at C’s daycare. Months later I still haven’t gone on a “date” with that mom, but I am having lunch with another one on Friday! Squeeee…. What should I wear?

    Making friends when you are a grown-up is so hard. And it’s even tougher in the Bay Area where people seem to leave after a year or two of dealing with the price of living here. Gah.

  9. Marlee says:

    Yippee for new friends!!

  10. Pingback: Lede Me On » Blog Archive » Let old acquaintance be forgot

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