In search of rolling hills and deep valleys

All right. I promised a post about boobs and I will deliver. But, with apologies to Christina at Rockin’ the Suburbs, I fear my problem is the exact OPPOSITE of that detailed by Linda at All and Sundry.

I wasn’t well-endowed before I got pregnant, my friends. I was a generous B cup, and with my huge hips and generous butt, it looked a little odd, but not comical. I was still somewhat proportional. When my body began to blossom from the pregnancy, the B cup stretched to a C cup, and I was delighted (the D and double D that came late in pregnancy and while nursing were a little much, even I will admit).

But now, post-pregnancy, post-breastfeeding, post-baby-weight-loss, I’d be lucky if someone guessed me at a full A cup. Now, I haven’t been measured for a new bra yet, but I’m wearing my favorite pre-baby one right now, and if I suck in my stomach/chest/rib area enough, the bra will touch my skin only at the shoulders and a little bit under my arms. Sad.

Is that all? Of course not. Because even though they are tiny, there is still enough to sag, though mine seem to be migrating toward my back instead of my belly. And they look so sad that way. Sad, sad, saggers.

I tried to take advantage of the situation by going braless with my tank tops. But Angel Face heartily discourages that practice by pulling the front of my shirt down (at any moment, while I’m carrying her, while she walks by me as I sit on the couch or floor, while I’m feeding her breakfast) and pinching my nipples with all her might. I understand that they are fascinating, but damn, that hurts.

So while Linda dreams of jogging and horseback riding and eating dinner without dragging her boobs through it, I fantasize about filling out a bikini top again and wearing a tank top and baseball hat without getting mistaken for a boy and halter tops … oh the halter tops.

I know it’s ridiculous and shallow and trivial and oh-so-meaningless. And were you to ask me if I would trade my post-pregnancy boobs and Angel Face for my pre-pregnancy boobs and nothing, I wouldn’t even entertain the possibility. But sometimes a girl just wants to feel like … a girl.

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2 Responses to In search of rolling hills and deep valleys

  1. Christina says:

    Oh no apology needed:) This seems to be an area where we all want what we dont have. I hope for some deflating after the nugget is done with them. Pre pregnancy I was a nice 34D I always felt too big, wanted a nice b- Now? 34 F as in F you boobs! I had no idea what I was in for. 5 months and hopefully a year of breast feeding to go…

    Im sure after Im done with having kids my next blogging adventure will on the work they will no doubt require!

  2. Mine are very much past the babyfood phase (my last nurser is 12 now) but while they are a good C, they are still too small for my big belly, hips and thighs. And when I do lose weight? What do you think is the first to go? The ta-tas which have no extra to donate! It sucks because the guys who say they love BBW’s really love really big boobs in my experience, lol. Oh well thank God we have our boobies and that they are healthy and cancer free, right?

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