Mother of the year, part 1

I have a feeling that this type of post will become a regular feature. So it’s Sunday afternoon, and my husband’s grilling of dinner is taking a little longer than anticipated. I feed Angel Face a snack and believe that I’ve quelled the beast of toddler hunger momentarily. I retreat to the living room to start tidying up the explosion of toys while Hubby is rinsing some utensils in the sink. 

Angel Face comes toddling into the living room, obviously chomping on something with great delight. I demand to know what she is eating, looking at Hubby accusatorily. He denies giving her anything to eat. So I pry open her mouth … and feel total HORROR. I am so appalled, I can’t even clean out her mouth, and she happily finishes chewing and swallowing with a huge grin. When I start to cry, Hubby asks what is wrong. She’s eating DOG FOOD I tell him. DOG FOOD! He tells me to relax, it’s not like we actually have to feed her dog food. 

Three days later, I still can’t think of it without cringing. Child Protective Services can’t be far from my doorstep. She’s got skinned knees because I put her in shorts when she can’t walk steadily yet, she wakes up three out of seven days soaked in her own urine and she eats dog food.

I swear, I’m a good mom. I swear.

This entry was posted in I'm a freak, I'm a mommy, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Mother of the year, part 1

  1. Sarah says:

    Oh, honey.. EVERY child does this.

    And I know, I know.. you’re saying, “Shut up, Sarah, you don’t even HAVE a child to eat dog food yet..” and you’d be right.

    But I know this because.. I did it. 🙂

  2. mizgee says:

    I did that and I turned out (mostly) normal!

    Then, as a teenager, my mom PAID me to eat a piece of dry dog food. I got $10 and it tastes like burnt toast. 😛

  3. mellow says:

    LOL – don’t worry, she’ll be fine, and you don’t need to freak just yet. Wait till she picks up a piece of candy off the floor in the grocery store and pops it in her mouth – and yeah, Child #3 did that and then lied to me about where she got the candy from. She’ll be 20 in a few weeks and is just fine.

  4. mommymartin says:

    Thanks for leaving me a comment! And don’t worry–I was a catfood eater and I’m (mostly) normal. I think they like it because it looks like cereal. It won’t be long before you look back on it and laugh.

  5. Pingback: Lede Me On » Blog Archive » my love-hate relationship with feminism

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s