First drunk post, whee! And it’s Wednesday. Okay. I’m not really drunk. I had one margarita. But these days it seems that’s all I need.
Hubby said something the other day that first made me angry, then made me think. Damn. I hate that. He said the reason I started this blog and the reason I read everyone else’s stuff and talk about it all the time is because I have no friends in real life.
I think he might be at least partially right. I had friends. I had Girls Night Out and Pampered Chef parties and afternoon cocktails and somebody who would tell me honestly if my ass looked fat in those jeans. Then, three years ago, we moved to a new town three hours away from our old one and all our friends. Less than a year later, I was pregnant.
I keep in touch with my old friends, albeit somewhat sporadically, via e-mail and occasional visits. But we all have lives and kids and all kinds of stuff that keeps us busy. But the point is, if I wanted to go to a movie on Saturday night or out for a drink with a girlfriend, I have no one to invite, at least not without feeling awkward and first-datish.
Part of it is the working-mommy guilt. I don’t take the time to develop a new friendship because it would take time away from precious Angel Face, and I spend enough time away from her already, what with the 45-hour work weeks and the hour round-trip commute.
Part of it is my own lack of self-confidence. I haven’t been “out there” trying to make friends in almost a decade. What if no one likes me? What if I’m boring?
I’ve tried to join a local “Moms’ Group”, but after spending some time on their message board it seemed that most were SAHMs in their early 20s with multiple kids. None of those things apply to me, much as I wish some of them would. What would we have in common?
So I read the blogs of other women. Since I started my own, I’ve even begun commenting a little bit. It makes me feel better. Pathetic, I know.