The lurking bridezilla

It was bound to happen sometime. I thought I had dodged a bullet. All the bridesmaiding I’ve done over the years, and I never hated the dress. I turned 30, certain that I had avoided all the horror stories of ugly taffeta and tulle. 

I’ve worn tasteful black (from the Chadwick’s catalog! So it was cheap!), deep red, soft lavender (twice. Lavender is my favorite color!), and a beautiful strapless red dress with black lace overlay. That was my favorite. I never even had to purchase new shoes or jewelry because there were no Nazi brides who insisted that we all match. I wouldn’t be friends with girls like that.  I thought I had made it. I was wrong.  I’m not particularly close to my brother. He was an usher at my wedding. When he announced he was getting married, I wasn’t expecting a bridal party invitation. When it came, I was actually shocked. Of course, I was about eight months pregnant at the time, so walking down the aisle again wasn’t really at the forefront of my imagination. 

So I went and got fitted for the dress and the shoes and paid (!! The most I’ve ever paid for a dress with the exception of my own wedding dress which wasn’t that much more expensive !!) for it and waited for it to arrive. 

I picked it up last night. When I put it on with the shoes, my husband actually laughed at me. Then he said, “It’s not that bad. It’s just the color.” Then he said, “The look on your face really isn’t helping.”

I would provide a link to the site with the dress, but it actually looks very pretty on the Web and you all would think I was crazy. 

I said I was refusing to wear pantyhose. I already have to have the same MAKEUP and HAIRSTYLE (no, I will not cut my hair for your wedding, and why can’t you ask me yourself instead of having my timid little brother ask me) as all the other bridesmaids. 

I’m putting my foot down at the pantyhose, people. It’s a southern California wedding and the shoes are wedge sandals. I’m trying not to be a brat, but the Bridezilla really seems to bring out my bratty tendencies. I’m thinking about stashing a flask in my bouquet.

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8 Responses to The lurking bridezilla

  1. cpennell says:

    It saddens me that people still think its okay to wear hose with sandals! Much less wedges, you will fall and bust your @ss! It is the SPANX era, no more pantyhose. Don’t do it, stand your ground, or you could trip down the aisle. Thats’ never pretty no matter the dress choice:) Good luck with her and your brother.

  2. mamasaidno says:

    Wow, I can’t imagine the nerve it takes to even ASK a bridesmaid to cut her hair, let alone wear nylons with open-toed shoes!

  3. nila says:

    Boycott the pantyhose. Who still wears panthhose? I love the show Bridezillas, but don’t think I could actually deal with one in real life. Good Luck!

  4. PANTYHOSE? IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA? IS SHE CRAZY? Obviously she must be! And who actually asks their bridesmaids to all have the same hairstyle? That’s just NUTS!

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