Shut up, shut up, Shut uuuuuppppp

So I’m going on vacation on Saturday, and this is disturbing and/or unusual to me on a variety of levels. I know, vacation is not supposed to be a disturbing or unusual thing, it is supposed to be relaxing. However, please let me delineate the reasons this is both disturbing and unusual (and not necessarily relaxing).

·         I haven’t had a vacation of longer than a four-day weekend since April 2005. Unless you count maternity leave, which I do not. And I do not wish to know anyone who does.

·         We are taking R on an airplane for the very first time. We have a layover in Atlanta both ways. God help us.

i)     However, she could surprise us and enjoy it.

ii)    But more likely, she will be in excruciating pain from the change of pressure (I’m packing sippy cups and (gasp) GUM) and miserable for the entire trip, there and back, despite the promise of Grandpa hugs, the ocean, sea turtles, lions, rides, butterflies and a swimming pool. What I will promise her on the way back, I don’t know.

·         R was sick this week with some unnamed ailment, but it kept me out of work yesterday and her up a lot last night with general malaise. We did some tests at the doctor’s office yesterday, but haven’t heard yet. She seems better, and even was able to make it to the potty yesterday before she… you know… #2 more like #1.. (Still not talking about potty training)(and you’re welcome for the description).

·         I have travel anxiety, which is bad enough when I am by myself, but throw in a husband who does NOT fly very much and a toddler who has never been to an airport and… oh God, I don’t even want to think about it. The possibility of missed connections! The parking! The checking in! Security! The CAR  SEAT! Do we check it? Do we take it on the plane? GOOD LORD PEOPLE WHAT DO I DO ABOUT THE CAR SEAT? I’M THINKING ABOUT IT. STOP THINKING ABOUT IT.

·         We are going to see my dad, which is fantastic and wonderful but also unusual. I haven’t been to see him since December 2004, which was a long time ago in real years and even longer in life-change years. For example, I now have a child. For a second example, he now has a serious girlfriend. Whom I will hopefully meet for the first time. (note: though I haven’t been to his house in nearly four years, he has been to mine many, many, many times and we have also seen each other at family gatherings like weddings and Christmas. So I get to see him. I just am terribly ungrateful and make him come see me all the time. But see previous bullet).

·         This is like a last hurrah for Dave, who has surgery on his shoulder next Friday. He’ll be in a sling for six-eight weeks but afterward able to pick R up over his head again. Which, yea for him. But also, sadness, because I don’t like to rake leaves and mow the lawn and do manual labor.

·         I am nervous about missing so much work (GAH! FIVE WHOLE DAYS! I THINK THEY’LL SURVIVE), and even more nervous about my return. And how much work I will have.

Pat my head and tell me it will all be okay, and vacation is a good thing and to please shut up already because not everybody gets to go to south Florida in October for only the (not-so-inexpensive) cost of a plane ticket.

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9 Responses to Shut up, shut up, Shut uuuuuppppp

  1. Christina says:

    None of this is as bad as you think (except the part about Dave and his surgery) Just pack as light as you can, only carry on the diaper bag – dont load yourself down. Organize as much as you can and then take a deep breath. The car seat, I have done it 3 times, check it! CHECK IT! Put a big ass garbage bag over it, duct tape it and toss it over the counter.
    I hope you have a great time. I am sure that R will surprise you, she usually does.

  2. Mar says:

    I would totally take her car seat ON the plane. Strap her in and tell her the plane will not go if she is not buckled. (If you check it, they just throw it under the plane and it gets all bounced around with the luggage, someone told me one time it was like it being in a car accident!).

    We also had Noodle convinced up until about 2 years ago that planes did not have bathrooms so sitting in her seat was the only option.

    Take a bunch of stuff for her to play with that is new to her. Stickers, playdough, etc. And maybe some snacks she doesn’t usually get.

    When you have your layover take her to gate where no one is waiting and Let.Her.Run. Literally. Back and forth between the two of you or “race” to the door or something.

    That is all.

    Except have a great trip! If you worry about it or not, the work will still be there so enjoy yourself!

  3. Christina says:

    I knew I would forget something- they will make R take her shoes off- the secruity is the biggest cluster you willl (should) encounter. I would have you both in some sort of slip on’s. :)

  4. Mar says:

    They will also make R get out of a stroller if she happens to be in one so you can fold it up and put it through security so don’t use it as a pack mule if you are taking one.

    I am with Christina, pack light. From what I understand they do have stores in Florida if you forget something :)

  5. Mandy says:

    Oh Michelle. Not that it will help you out at all, but just know that your mind works shockingly like my own in that I am a worrier and a stresser (even over VACATIONS). I pray that you have a very safe and peaceful trip, and that you thoroughly enjoy yourselves. I’ve never been somewhere tropical when the weather back “home” is not exactly the same. How fun! Take care, and yes. The work will be there, so give it ZERO thought while you’re away from it.
    Have a great time!
    *pat, pat*

  6. skiplovey says:

    I have a feeling that things will work out better than you’re imagining them to be and you might actually relax, enjoy your vacation and *gasp* might not even think about work for a few days. One could only hope.
    Enjoy!

  7. vixensden says:

    You are probably on your way, so I will skip the advise (besides we always drove when the kids were small-so I have no ideas) and just tell you to HAVE FUN. And YES, that is an order.

  8. Victoria says:

    You’re going to be great! I look forward to hearing about how much fun you had. And I’m glad your hubby will be having his shoulder fixed. Just relax and try to enjoy this time with your family.

  9. Hurray for vacation! I’m delighted you are taking one – finally! Whoot whoot! You’ll have to post pictures of your amazing tan!

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